Ultimate Delivery Boy
by xxJeff-The-Emo-Rockxx
Summary: Rocklee is The Ultimate Delivery Boy! With his trusty side kick I've Got A Noes he delivers pizza all over Konaha while fighting off the Evil Shukaku who wants to put his restaurant outof businesses so he can open his own! Crackfic!
1. Cast list

1Ultimate Delivery Boy

Okay this is a crack fic about Rocklee and Kakashi as delivery boys at a local Pizza restaurant Youth Pizza, in the heart of Konaha's market place. This is the cast list just so every one knows some people may only show up once and some may be constantly I just added them for the sake of adding them. Oh and there is gender bender and characters that are alive are dead for no reason in this too so if you do not like then leave please.

____________________________________________________________________________

Ultimate Delivery Boy-Rocklee

Trusty side kick (I've got a nose)-Kakashi

U.D.B mobile- A Segway with a side car some how attached to it.

Pizza Manager- Gai

Damsel in Distress- Shino

Damsel's boy toy- Neji

Damsel's older brother- Shikamaru

Damsel's younger sister- Choji

Evil cat villain 62- Ino

Random whore across the street #1- Hidan

Random whore across the street #2- Deidara

Random whore across the street #3- Kakuzu

Random whore across the street #4- Kisame

Youth Pizza's mascot- Little Garra in a panda costume holding a pizza

Main evil villain- Adult Garra

Creepy old man pedophile on the bench across the street: Orochimaru

Creepy old woman pedophile on the bench across the street: Naruto

Usual customer #1- Sasuke

Usual customer #2-Sakura

Dead body out side store #1-Temari

Dead body out side store #2- Kankuro

Dead body out side store #3- Tenten

Happy couple that loves Pizza- Asume and Kurinai

Druggie out side store #1- Suigetsu

Druggie out side store #2- Zetsu

Pimping Preist- Pein

Slutty Nun- Konan

Mayor- Itachi

Secretary- Kiba

Cereal killer of the town #1- Juggo

Cereal killer of the town #2- Karin

Gang of annoying little kids- Konahamaru and friends

Town Drunk #1- Sasori

Town Drunk #2- Tsunadei

Bar tender- Hinata

Crappy band on the room of Youth Pizza- The sound 5

Town Pervert #1- Jariya

Town Pervert #2- Ebisu

____________________________________________________________________________

This is the cast list the first actual chapter will be coming out tonight or tomorrow.

Oh I forgot

Disclaimer:

I do not own Naruto or any of the characters the plot belongs to me and my sister. Suigetsu and Zetsu will be based off of Jay and Silent Bob if any one knows them so Jay and Silent Bob are Kevin Smith's.


	2. Two meat lovers and a Pepsi

1Two meat lovers and a Pepsi!

Disclaimer: Naruto is not mine nor Jay and Silent Bob or the Twilight Zone plot is mine though.

____________________________________________________________________________

You're traveling through another dimension -- a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind. A journey into a wondrous land whose boundaries are that of imagination. That's a signpost up ahead: your next stop: the Twilight Zone!

You unlock this door with the key of imagination. Beyond it is another dimension: a dimension of sound, a dimension of sight, a dimension of mind. You're moving into a land of both shadow and substance, of things and ideas. You've just crossed over into... the Twilight Zone.

There is a fifth dimension beyond that which is known to man. It is a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition, and it lies between the pit of man's fears and the summit of his knowledge. This is the dimension of imagination. It is an area which we call "The Twilight Zone".

I'm sorry if you are looking for a story about a young boy that delivers pizza with a much older side kick names I've got a nose, you took the wrong turn, you are now in, "The Twilight Zone."

Ah ha just kidding! You are now in "The Pizza Zone."

It was five at night the sun was not going to set for another good hour, at Youth Pizza, the local pizza store, our hero is polishing the Ultimate Delivery Boy mobile. It was a black Segway with a side car for I've Got a Nose. I've Got a Noes was out side flirting with two of the whores. Hidan and Deidara were their names, quite attractive young women but to old for Rocklee. He also had his own love, her name was Shino, she loved the meat lovers pizza and Pepsi. Speaking of her favorite order an order was called out from afar and the U.D.B signal could be seen in the sky, a pizza with a "U" made out of pepperoni on it.

"Help help! Ultimate Delivery Boy! I'm dying of hunger, I need my meat lovers pizza and Pepsi! Hurry Ultimate Delivery Boy hurry!" called the Damsel from her tree house which was a good three miles away.

"I'll be there in thirty minuets or less, if not it's free!" Said Rocklee as he hopped over the counter into the back room where the manager was cooking the newest order.

"Hurry Gai! Shino needs her food, if not she will die I can not have my true love die!" Lee said vigorously just as the pizza was finished.

"Go Lee! It's $13.95, do not let that evil dumpling maker Garra ruin your delivery." Gai told the young delivery boy handing him the pizza box.

"I know sir I will return to you with 13.95 and a kiss from a fair maiden, now I am off!" screamed Lee as he ran out side onto his U.D.B. mobile. "Come I've Got a Noes! We have got a delivery to make." called Ultimate Delivery Boy as Kakashi broke a kiss with Hidan.

"I'll be back in a half hour or less." I've Got a Nose told Hidan as he hopped into the side car taking the pizza and soda from Lee. They took off going at a speed Seqways should not go. Our Heros were half way at Shino's house when out of his rear view mirror I've Got a Nose spotted two of Garra's minions, Ino the evil cat girl and Kayaku a new subordinate who was recently in the mafia.

"Ultimate Delivery Boy we have got trouble a foot!" Kakashi said as he pulled a grenade our from his seat, removing the pin before throwing it back at the lackeys. There was a large explosion and out of the smoke emerged the minions undamaged.

"Looks like Garra bought grenade proof minions this time." Ultimate Delivery Boy said as he turned sharply to left. A shuriken cookie skimmed the side of I've Got a Nose's face giving him a sharp cut.

"The New minion is strong I'm not going to be able to fight her off on the U.D.B mobile this time. You take the pizza to Shino you only have ten minuets or it's free, hurry I'll fight them off so the pizza isn't ruined." Kakashi said as he took out pepperoni shuriken throwing in it back.

"Go my friend but if you do not survive this I will miss you." Lee replied looking solemnly back as I've Got a Nose jumped out of the side car leaving the pizza and Pepsi behind so it can be safely delivered.

"It's been a while Ino, who's the new chick?" Kakashi asked as the two minions emerged from grenade smoke.

"Her name is Kayaku, she is a black belt in pastry kung fu and she makes a mean cannoli." Ino replied with venom in her voice.

"I see then, lets see if her pastry kung fu can compare to my culinary karate!" spat I've Got a Nose. With one last glare the three charged at each other with their weapons in hand.

____________________________________________________________________________

CLIFF HANGAR!

I have to go to bed now I just wanted to get the first chapter up before I go to bed.

Oh and Kayaku is just a random evil minion my friend wanted in.


End file.
